I was born in a much smaller city. Ostrów Wielkopolski 73,000 inhabitants.
That is where my mother, brother and my cat live.
I like visiting them.
I relearn there how to breathe.

In Wrocław the pressure is building slowly.
With every time it takes twice as much time as it should to come home from work, because of the traffic.
With every time I am in a middle of a crowd.
With all the noise, and all the people…

And when it gets to much, I pack my bags, buy a ticket, get on the train, and after two hour long journey I am in my small, peaceful hometown.

I am currently sitting at the table in my mum’s flat, and I breath easy.

And breathing easy helps me write.
And here’s the thing.
I want to publish my story here, but I need beta readers, for I want people to comment on the plot and story and not on the language mistakes I am bound to make.

If you are interested in proofreading my story, leave your email in a comment and I will contact you.

Thank you for reading.

PS. If you would like to help me find a proofreader, please share this post on FB, Twitter or other social media.
Thank you in advance.

-No man’s wife. That is what I am. – Arien’s laugh was hollow – I am a wife without a husband, a barren wife, wth no children to love me. And there is nothing that you can offer me. Nothing I want from you. Not even your loyalty. Get out!
-Forgive me.
Karstan rushed to the door. He did not turn, even when he heard her crying. He will not show her compassion, tenderness or fake love again.
This will be a new chapter in his life. Free from all lies and deceit. To change the world he lived in, he had to change himself first. This has been the beginning of his spiritual rebirth. And every rebirth required sacrifice.

I admit that it is not original to say that everything has its price. And to gain something we have to make sacrifices.
Unlike Karstan, however; we need to sacrifice something of our own.
I do not know yet what I am ready to sacrifice to find more time to write.
I hope I will be able to decide.
And if I will not be able, I wonder what that will mean…

And you, dear readers.
What did you have to sacrifice to do what you wanted the most?
Please share your stories.

Thank you for reading.

Sounds familiar?

When someone was reading what I wrote, I used to get all defensive.
But something changed recently.
This post should probably be titled, build up your confidence… my style :)

First of all remember – no feedback = no improvement.

Second of all, let people you trust read parts of your work. It helps. Remember to choose people who will be honest with you. And who will not try to hurt you with their opinion on your work.

Third step is to post parts of your work online.
Start a blog like I did, or create a profile on LiveJournal.
Anonymity helps.

It helped me. I became more confident.

Oh and I finally found the story I have mentioned in one of my early posts.
All that I need to do is translate it.

Thank you for reading.
Please leave a comment :).

Once the music suddenly stops I talk to myself to check if I am still able to hear.
I am glad that I live on the second floor, because I hate elevators. When I am in one, I am always afraid that it will get stuck somewhere between floors.
I am scared of heights, marry-go-rounds and doors that lock.
And the point is that I know the feeling of irrational fear that grips your chest in an iron fist.
And I like it when book characters have their fears too.
Not only the ‘major’ ones, like fear of dying.
But the ‘minor’ ones too.
A big, bad guy who barely keeps himself from screaming, when a spiders appears dangling by his face, really makes my day :).

These little fears make the characters appear more human, more real.
The motto for today is “Phobias – every character should have one :)”. – Almost like a demotivator.

And for those who think that having a phobia will make their character look weak, I have a solution.
Make him overcome that fear in a live or death situation ;).
I consider myself somewhat brave, for I am afraid of spiders, but I manage not to scream when I see them.
I even tolerate the bathroom spiders. You know the ones that sit on the ceiling, and seem to be frozen in space. I swear they hardly move.
And one day they simply disappear.
I name them.
Actually I have one name for them – Dyzio.
I had many Dyzios till this very day.
Once I give them the name, they seem less scary. :)

The book characters too can challenge their fears.

Please share your opinion on this, and maybe you know a character that you got to love because of his little fears :). Or you would like to share your phobia related stories. I would like to encourage you to engage in a discussion via comments :).
Thank you for reading.

After this, there is a phrase that I will not use in the newest version:
-This is madness…
After I saw the 300 movie, I cannot keep this phrase in and expect people to read it with a straight face…

You see, the thing is that Karstan likes numbers, and that is what he sees (I never said he is a good king ;))

And although he was born in my head, I cannot help but disagree.
We writers, often face a situation when our character makes choices we would not make, says things we would never say and behaves in a way that makes us cringe.
It is a challenge to write about things that we do not “feel” in a convincing way.
I do not know a universal and good for everyone way to tackle this problem.
Here is what works for me:
I let myself go, and I become the character that I disagree with. I close my eyes, and I start to talk, out loud. I don’t care if my friends, who I share my apartment with, will hear me. They know I am weird that way ;p.
I speak like a lawyer in a courtroom defending a criminal. I know I do not believe in what I am saying. But anyone who could hear me, would not know that. Because I speak with such a conviction.

After that, I manage to let the character take over. And the writing process goes smoothly from there on.

If it is hard for you to create a believable character that is different from you, try my way.

And do not be afraid to create such characters.
I know that there are many people who mistake fiction for reality.
That an actor is identified with the role he plays, and that writer might be judged based on what he or she wrote.
But writers cannot hide, and only create politically correct heroes.

Boy, would that be boring :)

If you have your ways to deal with this situation, please share them in comments.
I would love to hear your opinion o this.
Feedback is loved :)

Thank you for reading.

today I will keep it short.
I have just fought a battle.
Or at least I feel like it.

I have updated the About page, because I realized that it is about time that I introduce myself.
And that is where the problems began.
I had no clue how to add the About page to my main page.
It was a struggle.
But I won :).

I have also changed the theme.

Bigger changes will be introduced soon, but no I’m not telling, I want it to be a surprise.

And one more thing.
I wish I were at least a bit less chaotic.
I want to translate and post here one of my short stories.
And I cannot find it in the multitude of text files I have.
I need to work on better names for my files.

But worry not, I shall bring the story to you.
As soon as I find it :)

Thank you for reading :)

There are always consequences.
That is my favorite phrase of all time.
The ultimate number one on my top 10 quotation list.

And I absolutely love to remind my characters of it.
It is truth after all.
Where there is an action, there is a reaction.
This is how the real world works. And I see no reason why the “book world” should not work the same way.

I like it when every decision that the book character makes, sooner or later comes back to either pat him on the back, or bite his hand off.

And I also like it when the characters are aware of the fact that the decisions they make, will influence their live and lives of those around them.

And the choices are sometimes very difficult to make.
My poor Karstan is a good example here:

-”Even monsters have a right to live Karstan. We have no intentions on dying quietly, we will not simply disappear. Why does it surprise you that we are fighting for our survival. That we do anything, absolutely anything we can. Konradus, and you, have you ever thought what you would do, if everyone you know would be facing death. Would you let them all die, or would you try to save them, with all means available to you?
They sat dark and silent. Not sure what to say, if there was anything that could be said. This was a no win situation, of course Eikin was right, and yet they knew that they could not allow for this to continue.
-Eikin, there is no way we will let you kill all these people.
-I need their souls Karstan, I need them. And I will take them. I will take the souls of your enemies, or those of your men. The choice is yours. Please make no mistake, you are not able to stop me. You will not stop those of my kind. You are no match for us. Please, you can achieve so much with our help. We are only asking for a fair price.
The sun was setting, the sky was red, a deep blood red color. Outside it was quiet, and lifeless. In the chamber the air was heavy with despair, frustration and anger. The three man were eying each other with distrust and contempt. Their conversation was turning darker, and the chances to reach any understanding were getting smaller and smaller.

Well Karstan, you need to decide.
And remember.
There are always consequences.

Thank you for reading.
Feedback is much loved :)
I enjoy reading your comments.
I also accept ideas for next posts.
If there is something you would like to read about, tell me :)

When I make an appearance on the net I go by the name Sorrento Aishikami. This nickname is dearer and more personal to me than my real name. I have got it for almost 9 years now, so it goes a long way with me.
My younger self met some wonderful people at that time. People I know till this very day. With some of them I share an apartment, some visit us occasionally, some of them are living in an exotic and far away country, and some are probably leading a very busy life. And the only way to get in touch with them, and see how they are doing is through the social media.
And here comes trouble.
I always felt vulnerable when joining a web community.
It may be connected with the fact, that once something appears on the net, it stays there.
I am by no means a flame war fanatic, nor do I posses embarrassing photos of myself.
And yet, there is this unexplainable fear from becoming a part of of the world wide web community.
However, one cannot hide forever. Not now, when social media become an inseparable part of our personal and professional lives.
I decided to trust the world out there, on the Internet and decided to join two largest communities: Facebook and Twitter.
I’m giving my nick a human face.

I want to have my book published after all.
I hope like any aspiring writer to be famous one day.
In order to succeed, however, I need to step out of my comfort zone and embrace the world.
Who knows, maybe the world will embrace me back.

P.S for those who would like to join my little community here is me on:
Twitter: Aishikami on Twitter
Facebook: Aishikami on Facebook

I would like to be able to draw what comes to my mind, but I don’t like to learn, because things never look the way I want them to.
I wish I could speak many languages, but I don’t like not being able to express myself, to say what’s on my mind.
The same is with writing.
I get frustrated, because I get blocked and I am not able to write.
And with my minds eyes I already see the finished book.
I can almost touch it.
And then I realize that I am still somewhere in between.

I would accept it more easily if I had more time.
And I do not wish for longer days.
I wish for a longer life.

I want a lot.
I want to be able to do many things, I want to draw, write, speak as many languages as possible.
I am a Renaissance soul, or however else they call it these days.

There are only two ways to handle this.
The first way is to give up on some dreams, and settle for one.
But how to choose, when all feel close to your heart.

Second way is to find time to master all that you wish to master.

There are these few people, who can use the time they have to the fullest.
I wish to be one of them.

Hopefully, I will manage to find time for everything I care about, this blog also.

Thank you for reading.
Feedback is much appreciated.
Perhaps you know some time utilization techniques that you could share with me :).

Never trust a person who claims to love you no matter what comes your way. Words are weapons of liars. Trust those who stand by your side, who speak with their action. I have once fallen for words that were to sweet to be truth. They were a bait, I caught it without thinking. These words lured me into a trap that I was to weak to escape from.
Every part of my being was drawn to that sweet poison. How I hate myself now. And him… him I hate even more than myself. However, the damage is done, and no hate, rage and wrath can change that, turn back the time. I wish I could undo the hurt I have cause to the people around me. Yet, I cannot. That is the sad truth. I have to pay for my sins now. And here comes my executioner. I hear him approaching. With all his wise words, and the sad look in his eyes, he is pure torture to be around. He disturbs my calmness. I will never be at ease as long as he is near me. He comes and goes as he wishes, yet his presence lingers and I always feel him next to me. Condescending, admonishing, but never dressing anything in words, never screaming or crying. It’s his eyes that carry the message. His eyes are the ones that rob me of my sleep.
He is loyal and faithful. I will not trust him, but I feel that I could. He has this feeling to him. This unearthly calmness that sometimes makes me doubt that he is alive. I prefer sometimes even Arien’s fury to this eerie calmness. All of his kind are such as he is. His kind, the creatures who live in my country, and in the same time they do not live here at all. They almost inhabit something like they own realm, their own world that is built where our world stands. These worlds are one and they are not. How could I explain it, when I do not understand it myself. I doubt that they understand it themselves. One thing for sure is that they do not enjoy it. They do not have an influence on what happens to the world they live in. If we destroy it, they will lose their home, therefore they work like good little ants, they make amendments, they fix what we destroyed. That is why he is so mad at me. I have brought the Empire to close to the edge. He is scared that they will not manage to fix what I broke this time. He is terrified that he has not foreseen the incoming end of their peaceful little world. He is not used to being afraid, and that is why he is so much more angry at me. But he is too civilised to show me that. He will hide his anger, he will cry when no one can see him. He will not let me see his human side, as he likes to pretend that there is nothing human to him. Sometimes I wish that were true, I wish that his eyes would become as hollow as they were when he chose to reveal himself to me for the first time.
He did not give up. We are still struggling. He is well aware of the power that we have at our disposal, he is well aware that we have a fighting chance. It is not that what worries him the most, or what causes him the most pain. It is that, he knows that I would have come crawling to the person that has betrayed me the most. Have I not screamed in anger and despair that there is nothing I would not do, just to get back what I loved so much. I would sell my soul if I only knew that it would have bring me to where I wanted to be. By his side. Gods was I pathetic. And my walking, breathing and perhaps living conscious was well aware of that. He did not say it, however I knew that he does not think highly of me, and I did not blame him. I did not think highly of myself either.

Feedback will be loved :)

Thank you for reading.